© Rae Dosoo 2013
Rae Dosoo asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
All rights reserved. No part of this can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission of Rae Dosoo.
Don’t need this Relation…Ship
“I don’t need this Relation…Ship
The ship sunk a long, long, long time ago
The ship has been under water for a long time now
There is no way it could be pulled back to the surface now
I am in denial, I must admit, I do not want to hear it
I know I am suffocating
I don’t need this Relation…Ship
Why am I holding on?
Why am I holding on?
Why am I holding on?
It does seems safer than jumping into unknown waters
And drowning
And gasping for air
Sinking…Sinking…Sinking…
Slowly
Screaming for help
And…
I don’t know how to swim on my own
So I hold onto it
I grab onto it
I clinch towards it
I clench towards it
Even though there is nothing to hold onto anymore
I don’t need this Relation…Ship
This Relation…Ship… Ship
Can’t imagine myself without it
I saved my all, I invested my all, I GAVE IT MY ALLLL!
I travelled so far for this…ship
This ship….
To throw it all away
To leave this ship
To throw all this away, like it meant nothing in the first place
Would rip my already fragile fragmented-heart
It feels like the Ship cut into my heart
And threw it on the Deck
Picked it up again and played it with it
It toyed with it,
Then squeezed it, smashed it, shredded it
Before handing it back to me again”
It was a cruise before,
Champagnes clicks, The Sunday shopping trips,
Sunny Honeymoon Phase
She described herself as The Luckiest Girl in the World
She asked where they were going
She asked the question ‘Where is this cruise taking us?’
Water flooded in
The smiles turned into frowns
The promises turned into disappointments
The once smooth skin turned into scars
The love yous turned into I hate yous
Girlfriends called, screaming frantically for her to get off
She sees the lifeboats
However she turns around
And ignores the lifeboats
That will save her from this Relation….Ship
She says to herself ‘I don’t need this Relation…ship’
But why, oh why is she clinging onto it?
“The memories of the once good times
Floods in my mind every time
Every time I am ready to jump into the lifeboat
It just breaks this heart into pieces, time…after time…
I am surprised that it is still pumping
Because it feels like my world is deflating
I don’t need this Relation…Ship
I don’t deserve this Battered…Ship
I don’t deserve this Broken…Ship
I don’t deserve this Sad…Ship
I don’t deserve this Cheating…Ship
I don’t deserve this Dishonest…Ship
I don’t deserve to be in this disaster of a ship”
You don’t need this Relation…Ship