Don’t Need This Relation…Ship

Don’t Need This Relation…Ship

 

© Rae Dosoo 2013

Rae Dosoo asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved. No part of this can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission of Rae Dosoo.

Don’t need this Relation…Ship

“I don’t need this Relation…Ship

The ship sunk a long, long, long time ago

The ship has been under water for a long time now

There is no way it could be pulled back to the surface now

I am in denial, I must admit, I do not want to hear it

I know I am suffocating

I don’t need this Relation…Ship

Why am I holding on?

Why am I holding on?

Why am I holding on?

It does seems safer than jumping into unknown waters

And drowning

And gasping for air

Sinking…Sinking…Sinking…

Slowly

Screaming for help

 

And…

 

I don’t know how to swim on my own

So I hold onto it

I grab onto it

I clinch towards it

I clench towards it

Even though there is nothing to hold onto anymore

I don’t need this Relation…Ship

This Relation…Ship… Ship

Can’t imagine myself without it

I saved my all, I invested my all, I GAVE IT MY ALLLL!

I travelled so far for this…ship

This ship….

To throw it all away

To leave this ship

To throw all this away, like it meant nothing in the first place

Would rip my already fragile fragmented-heart

It feels like the Ship cut into my heart

And threw it on the Deck

Picked it up again and played it with it

It toyed with it,

Then squeezed it, smashed it, shredded it

Before handing it back to me again”

 

It was a cruise before,

Champagnes clicks, The Sunday shopping trips,

Sunny Honeymoon Phase

She described herself as The Luckiest Girl in the World

She asked where they were going

She asked the question ‘Where is this cruise taking us?’

Water flooded in

The smiles turned into frowns

The promises turned into disappointments

The once smooth skin turned into scars

The love yous turned into  I hate yous

Girlfriends called, screaming frantically for her to get off

She sees the lifeboats

However she turns around

And ignores the lifeboats

That will save her from this Relation….Ship

She says to herself ‘I don’t need this Relation…ship’

But why, oh why is she clinging onto it?

“The memories of the once good times

Floods in my mind every time

Every time I am ready to jump into the lifeboat

It just breaks this heart into pieces, time…after time…

I am surprised that it is still pumping

Because it feels like my world is deflating

I don’t need this Relation…Ship

I don’t deserve this Battered…Ship

I don’t deserve this Broken…Ship

I don’t deserve this Sad…Ship

I don’t deserve this Cheating…Ship

I don’t deserve this Dishonest…Ship

I don’t deserve to be in this disaster of a ship”

 

You don’t need this Relation…Ship

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