I Don’t Like Me

 

© Rae Dosoo 2013

Rae Dosoo asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved. No part of this can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission of Rae Dosoo.

I don’t like me

She looks at herself in the mirror

Tears run down her face, wetting her silk shirt

Wishing she was beautiful,

Wishing someone would like her,

Wishing she had self-confidence,

Wishing she hadn’t lost her self-esteem,

She screams, She shouts and says ‘I don’t like me’

 

Every day after school

She runs to the mirror

Not much to look at, Unbeautiful, loathsome,

Grotesque, Unsightly, Repugnant is all she sees

She screams, She shouts and says ‘I don’t like me’

 

Thoughts run through her mind

One voice tells her she is damn ugly

Once voice tells her, look at that hideous horrid button nose

You for sure aren’t pretty

One voice tells her look at those enormous lips,

You for sure are repulsive

Her mum tells her at least she’s pretty for a dark skinned girl,

Amy from school asks why her hips are so big

Whilst changing for P.E

She quickly covers herself up

But then Megan catches her

And laughs you’ve got extraordinarily big bumcheeks girl

And sniggers with the rest of her friends

She runs to the corner, crying, hating herself

‘I don’t like me’

 

She runs to the mirror

Screaming ‘I don’t like me’

She sees her nose,

She wishes she didn’t have that hook, She wishes it wasn’t so long

She wishes her friends didn’t call her Pinocchio

She wishes her friends didn’t ask her why she is so skinny

Calling her anorexic

They ask her ‘Don’t you eat?’

If only they knew, the food she forces down herself

She eats, eats and eats some more

But the weight just doesn’t come on

She wishes that she had curves like Dominique

Or a big bum like her colleague at work

 

She runs to the mirror

She screams ‘I don’t like me’

She is frightened of her own image

She is scared to look at herself for more than five seconds

Her husband tells her to jump on the treadmill

He threatens her with the door and points that’s where you’ll be going

He calls her names, potbellied, bulky, pudgy and he thinks its endearing

She screams, holding her skin ‘I don’t like me’

She screams, cutting her skin ‘I’m fat and no one loves me’

She screams, burning her skin ‘I don’t like me’

 

There’s one man, Ladies

Who thinks you’re absolutely beautiful

He says this is my girl and he will never stop loving you

This man is called Jesus

You think you don’t fit in

But Beautiful girl, you have your own thing going on

You are unique

You are fearfully and wonderfully created

Look yourself in the mirror girl

Tell yourself each morning that you are beautiful

 

And not only does he like you, he adores you

He loves each and every freckle, He loves your dimples

He loves those eyebrows, as bushy and close as they may seem

He loves you regardless of your size- skinny, curvy or plus size

He loves that and every bit of you

Love yourself, Love you and Love all of you

 

She looks at herself in the mirror

She sees herself

Beauty and Loveliness,

Graceful, Gorgeous and Marvellous

Is what she sees

She tells herself ‘I am beautiful’

She smiles ‘I really do like me’